Everybody Does It
by Tentai.t
Summary: Taking place long after Dinner at Takano's and Dinner at Onodera's, Ritsu has an extreme belly ache and his knight in shining armor comes to save the day.


**This story takes place long after Dinner at Takano's and Dinner at Onodera's.**

**Another special thanks to Cerberus Revised for gracing my story with his awesome wordsmithing. Really, you are always so busy, I am ever grateful that you take the time to bother with my stories.**

**Inspired by Thanksgiving: May your turkeys cease to fester in our stomachs days after you have come and gone…**

**Characters of Sekai Ichi Hatsukoi are property of Nakamura Shungiku.**

**Rated T for language.**

* * *

**Everybody Does It**

By Tentai.t

December 10, 2013

Text from Takano: 'Dinner's ready.'

Text from Ritsu: 'Not hungry. Eat without me.'

Standing in the small kitchen of his apartment, Takano frowned at the message. Something was up. He'd noticed that his love had been favoring his belly earlier. Ritsu had kept the hand not holding his briefcase clasped over his lower abdomen the whole way walking home with him after work.

Takano had a strong suspicion what might have been causing Ritsu's discomfort.

Since it was the beginning of another cycle at work and they hadn't needed to go in until later than usual, Takano had made an amazing breakfast for them that morning of grilled mackerel, kimchi, takuwan, fluffy rice, and bonito soup. But then he'd had to leave before Ritsu, for a conference with a visiting mangaka.

As he'd left, knowing that he wouldn't have been able to eat lunch with him because of the meetings he had all day that would run straight through lunch, he'd told Ritsu to pack a bento for himself. And while Onodera had recently proven that he had a far greater culinary aptitude than Takano had thought possible, for the most part, his sweet kouhai still pretty much sucked at properly feeding himself.

_I wonder what my little baka ended up eating. _

Deciding to investigate his hunch, Takano ambled over to Ritsu's apartment next door. Using the key he gotten on his birthday, he entered 1202.

He found Ritsu on the bed, lying on his side in a fetal position, gripping his stomach, his face scrunched up in pain.

"Eat without me, Masamune," Ritsu said through gritted teeth. "My stomach hurts so bad I don't think I can eat at all."

Worried, Takano sat down on the side of the bed and brushed damp bangs off of Ritsu's face. Observing the tension displayed over the rest of his lover's body, his eyebrows furrowed in concern.

"Why didn't you call me? Do you think you need to go to the hospital?" Pulling away Ritsu's hands from around his belly, he continued, "Exactly where does it hurt?"

Ritsu gestured with shaking fingers over the epigastric region right above the bellybutton.

Having eaten well so well at breakfast, Ritsu hadn't felt hungry until well past the lunch hour. He'd taken Takano's admonition and Ritsu thought his packed lunch might be the culprit, but since what he'd packed was something Takano had made, he conceded without offering exactly what it was he'd eaten, "Maybe it's just a little indigestion because I waited too long to eat."

Another painful spasm hit Ritsu's belly, making him curl up tighter, his eyes closed as he tried to will away the pain, "Owwww. It hurts..."

Frowning anew, Takano snorted. "That sounds like more than just indigestion." His lips pursed into a thin line in his determination to fix the problem. "What does the pain feel like?"

Agitated that he had to form a coherent response, Ritsu shook his head and answered through the side of his mouth, "I don't know. Sharp. Crampy. Like a… like my insides are being poked." He paused to rub forceful circles into his belly. "It keeps coming and going… Masamune…make it stop." His eyes glistened with unshed tears.

Anxiety pricked Takano as he looked down on the pleading face of his proud _tsundere_. He forced himself to stay calm, and not make a mad dash to call an ambulance. Taking action, Takano stood up, and then crouching over Ritsu's bunched body he lifted his lover's head with an upper arm. With the other Takano grabbed ahold of the backs of Ritsu's knees as he straightened him out, to lay him on his back on the bed.

"Here, let me see."

Takano took hold of both of Ritsu's shaking hands and gently pushed them aside. Then, he gingerly lifted up Ritsu's sweat-damp shirt, careful not to cause him more pain and made a slow sweep of his belly, running a large palm lightly across its expanse.

Embarrassed by all the attention he was getting, despite his pain, Ritsu tried cracking a joke. "I can't believe you're trying to feel me up while I'm clearly suffering here."

Takano found himself relaxing the look of concentration on his face to smile wryly. "Ah, shad-dup."

He arched a dark brow. "When did you last take a shit?" Takano reached over to loosen the belt that Ritsu wore.

"Takano-_san_!" Ritsu cried, his face turned a much darker hue of red, mortified by the question, while hastily reaching down to stop the prying hands. "That's private!"

"As familiar as I am with that part of your anatomy? Stop being such a prude!" Takano had been about to say "tight ass," but under the circumstances thought this wording might not be the best choice "Come on… Everybody does it."

Shooing Ritsu's gripping hands away, Takano raised both his eyebrows now. "_Baka_, quit it! I'm just trying to loosen your pants. That's all." Finally succeeding, he unzipped Onodera's fly just halfway to prove his point.

Determined to get an answer, Takano continued to prod, though he altered his wording somewhat to appease Ritsu's "delicate" sensibilities. "Come on, just tell me. When did you last poop?"

Looking away and blushing anew, Ritsu reluctantly grumbled, "This morning, before breakfast." Then, all of a sudden, he hissed as he seized in pain, one of his hands reached again for his belly and the other covered his face. His lower body twisted, trying to ease the aching spasm.

Takano pulled the hand away from Onodera's stomach with a distressed, "Tsk!" He exhaled loudly through his nostrils bunching his lips in a tight frown as he continued to feel around Ritsu's belly once more.

Not noticing any warmer than usual spots or hard knots, Takano lifted one of his hands and cocking his index finger back with his thumb, he made a few quick flicks to Onodera's belly, listening to the sound this made.

_Thunk, thunk_, _thunk._ His lover's stomach sounded like an empty drum.

Pulling Ritsu's shirt back down, Takano sighed. He straightened back up and said, "I'll be right back."

As he left, Ritsu wondered what it was that he'd discovered. But feeling weakened from the pain, he just turned to his side in a crouch, too tired to ask Takano's retreating back.

* * *

Takano first went to get the baby oil from the bathroom. Then he took this to the kitchen where he opened the pantry to get the aluminum foil and plastic wrap. He also grabbed the leftover ginger from the bulb basket on the counter where it sat amidst the onions and garlic, and placed the gathered items near the stove.

Pulling out the _santoku_ and a chopping board, he sliced the ginger thinly. Leaving this, he tore off a sheet of aluminum, folded this in half, and then crimped the ends creating a makeshift pan that was two inches deep.

He then put this on a burner, turning it on to medium heat. He placed the ginger in the foil and drizzled it with enough oil to cover the ginger. Using a pair of tongs, Takano moved the foil back and forth on the burner until the oil was hot and the ginger was gently sizzling. Finished, he slid the makeshift pan onto a plate and grabbed the plastic wrap, bringing this back with him to the bedroom.

He placed the items on the bedside drawer. After taking a quick look at Ritsu, who had his eyes closed, Takano returned to the bathroom to grab two dry towels from the towel bar.

Coming back to the bed, he placed these beside Ritsu. Gently, Takano lifted Ritsu's bangs from his forehead, causing Ritsu to open his eyes. "Hang in there for me, okay? I've got something that will help you. Can you sit up for me?"

Ritsu gingerly sat up, still holding his belly.

"Take off your shirt and lower your pants," Takano told Ritsu while he smoothed out a towel on the bed. Once Ritsu had his shirt off, Takano showed him what he had made.

"This is ginger oil and I'm going to spread it on your belly. It'll soothe your pain but it gets really, really hot, okay?"

Ritsu raised hopeful eyes. "Will it really work, Masamune?"

"Yeah, in about fifteen to thirty minutes."

Takano checked to see if the oil was warm and safe enough to be touched. Satisfied, he smeared a generous amount on Ritsu's belly covering the area just below the ribcage to just above the dip of his pelvis.

"It's going to gradually get hot and hurt to just before you can't take it anymore. Then it'll all stop." He explained.

He reached over for the box of plastic wrap and turned to Ritsu, pulling out the end. "Lift up your arms for me."

Takano wrapped this carefully around Ritsu, covering the expanse of where the ginger oil was spread to protect the linens from the oil and to keep it from rubbing off of Ritsu's skin. Grabbing the ginger slices still sitting in the foil, he tucked them beneath the plastic wrap covering the top of his lover's stomach area.

After wiping his hands on tissues from the bedside drawer, he used the other towel to wrap around the plastic, tucking the ends in so that it didn't move, ensuring that the oil would stay warm for as long as possible.

Done with his task, he reached for Ritsu's shirt and handed back to him, "You can put your shirt back on. Oh, but keep your pants loose so that your belly can breathe."

"Thank you," Ritsu murmured shyly, pulling the shirt over his head. Curious, he asked, "So how is it that you know all this?"

Wryly, Takano answered, "Remember my asshole non-father? Yeah, he's a doctor. He did this for me once when I was in grade school. I had this huge stomach ache and I was writhing in pain. He took pity on me."

With a tight smile, he said, "Go lie on your stomach. I hope you're ready for this because it _will_ hurt."

"Ok." Ritsu nodded, understanding what to expect. On all fours, he started to settle atop the towel that Takano previously draped over the bed.

When Takano stood up he clapped his hands loudly. "Now, assume the position."

Ritsu started, "What position?"

Takano gestured with his hand, lifting it up. "Get your ass up in the air."

"What?!" Ritsu glared at him.

"Yeah, doggy-style like." Takano's voice was serious despite his smirk.

Absolutely discomfited, his face turned a hot red, Ritsu reluctantly did as he was told, just knowing that there was a catch to all this. He faced away from Takano, his forearms still gripping his belly in pain.

"Higher… yeah, like that. Keep your chest down," Takano ordered.

"OKAY!" Ritsu begrudgingly followed his commands.

If it hadn't been for Ritsu's pained expression, Takano would have loved to have teased the younger man more, but instead he offered kindly, "It'll help with the pain, I promise."

Picking up the stuff that he used, Takano said, "I'm going to go wash my hands and check on the food. Endure it, okay, Ritsu. I'll be right back."

After kissing Onodera on his temple, he straightened. Then he paused. Cocking his head to the side at the sight laid out before him, Takano gave Ritsu's ass a resounding smack with his palm.

"What the f-?"

"Sorry, I tried, really, but I just couldn't help myself."

"You ass!"

Looking away with an ill-concealed smile, Takano bit his lips to stifle a chuckle. With that he left the bedroom and closed the door.

* * *

Takano didn't leave Ritsu's apartment; the food was ready and the table was already set, so there wasn't anything he really needed to do at his place. So, instead, he sat back on the couch, crossed his leg with a foot on his knee, and curled his arm behind his head: the perfect picture of a guy with nothing else better to do.

After a few moments, unused to such stillness, Takano looked at his watch. _I'd give it about 15 minutes, give or take._

Returning his head to the pillow he'd made of his arm, he jiggled one of his legs in wait.

* * *

With Takano gone from his bedroom, Ritsu was left alone with his thoughts. He rubbed one hand over his still-stinging butt cheek.

_Hmph. That asshole. _

Then he started to notice the effects that the ginger oil was having on his aching belly. _Hmmm. It feels better already. It's actually kind of soothing._

Ritsu took a deep breath, something he hadn't been able to do since the pain had started, just right before he left work with Takano. He closed his eyes, feeling his tired muscles relax after being tense for so long.

_At least I'll be able to work on the papers I took home tonight. Well, that is if Masamune can keep from grabbing my ass after dinner. Seriously, doesn't he ever get tired of it? _

A small smile quirked Ritsu's lip as he thought about the other night. _Hmmm. He was amazing. I wonder if he knows that my 'nervous gesture' isn't actually unintentional anymore…_

At Takano's birthday dinner, Ritsu had never noticed that he had repeatedly grabbed his bangs in nervousness while cooking dinner. His hand had been slightly damp from being anxious and from the cooking. Running his fingers through his bangs from the front had lifted the middle hairs; and the dampness had left them parted, making it very similar to the hairstyle he'd kept while in high school. Takano had mentioned this to him later and since that time, Ritsu had repeated the tactic as a means of silent seduction with great success.

Ritsu sighed deeply. _Yeah, having sex on the couch the other night was pretty great. Heh, he wouldn't even to walk the ten feet to get to the bedroom… Wait, is it just me or is this ginger getting hot. _

_Is this why Masamune said to 'endure'?_

* * *

In the living room, an impatient Takano walked over to Ritsu's closed bedroom door. After glancing at the clock on the wall, he took to inspecting his nails as he listened intently.

* * *

A flustered Ritsu now had his eyes wide open. _Haaa. It's hot. No, it's burning._

_Any minute now…_ Takano thought.

Ritsu's eyes opened wider. _ Oh my god… It feels like I'm gonna… _

_Oh My God. OH MY GOD! _

_NOOOO! _

_Takano-san. Takano-san!_

"TAKANO-SAAAAAAN!"

_**PRRRRRRRRRt-t-t-t-t!**_

* * *

Out in the hall, hearing Onodera's outburst through the door, Takano smirked._ Showtime!_

* * *

Takano burst into the bedroom and yelled incredulously, "Did _you_ just _fart_, Onodera?!"

He let out a boisterous laugh at his lover's red face, ass still raised in the air. "Bwahahahahahahha! You did! You did just fart!"

Adding insult to injury, another _prrrrrrrt_ ripped out of Ritsu. "You asshole! You knew this was going to happen! I should go over there and beat the living shit out you!"

Takano Masamune, the unrepentant Editor-in-Chief of The Monthly Emerald, was bent over, gripping his middle and slapping his thigh as he laughed his ass off.

"Hahahahaha. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, Ritsu. I just couldn't help myself!"

Ritsu feeling relieved despite his embarrassment, jumped off the bed and repeatedly pummeled the laughing Takano, eventually reluctantly laughing with him, too, in spite of himself.

* * *

Sitting on the bed, after their laughter died down and Ritsu's belly ache had significantly calmed, Takano asked, "Seriously, you feel better now, don't you?"

Lying on his side and turned away from his former senpai, his voice muffled from the hands covering his still red face, Ritsu reluctantly replied "Yeah."

"You gotta admit, that was some funny shit, Ritsu. Hehehehe! What the hell did you eat for lunch anyway?"

"Well, I packed the leftover chicken curry for lunch," Ritsu confessed, pouting his lower lip out.

"But that was from two nights ago! Ritsu, the curry had coconut cream in it. And it's not like we were able to put it in the fridge right away after eating dinner…" Takano sighed. "Ahhh. It must have been the kimchi from breakfast and the coconut cream that made you gassy."

Sympathetically, he ruffled Onodera's brown hair "Awww, I'm so sorry, love."

Not getting a reply, he placed his hand on Ritsu's shoulder. With gentle force he turned him over to face him. He bent down ready to kiss him and stopped in front of his face. He crinkled his nose and let out a short, quick exhale through his nostrils.

"Whew, Ritsu, you stink!" Takano feigned a gag.

Ritsu pushed him off the bed. "Kill me! Just kill me now!"

"Bwahahahahaha!"

* * *

Later, after the ginger oil had been cleaned up and a very light supper, the night found the occupants of apartment 1201 in bed together: a sullen kouhai spooned by a not so contrite senpai.

"I hate you. I hate you." Ritsu whimpered after another teasing comment from Takano about his boisterous backside. Takano pulled him closer to his chest

"And I love you, I love you. I'll always take care of you, you know," Takano said as he kissed Ritsu's nape.

_Prrt. _

"Oh god! _When_ will this ever _ennnnnnnd_?!" Ritsu exasperatedly threw his hands up.

A stifled snicker…

Having reached his limit for Takano's juvenile humor, Ritsu turned to the source of his annoyance. "Ahhh, you think it's funny, eh. Let's see how much you love me after this!"

And Ritsu, the once shy kouhai, raised the thick coverlet over the head of an unsuspecting Takano.

**Fin**

* * *

**Disclaimer: Actions and/or situations depicted in this fan fic may or may not have been inspired by a true story. **

**Laughter is the best medicine. I hope you got your dose. Thanks for reading. If you've farted before, prove it by leaving a review. Remember, everybody does it. ;)**


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